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Be careful what you wish for

images (13)Second Month of the year. It is still a new year; it is a great time to make a wish or wishes. It’s a great time to make goals and plan for the new season before it’s over.

Its also a great time to let go of that which no longer serves us, making space for the new.

Have you ever made a wish?

Was it a wish or a goal?

If it was a wish, how many wishes do you think you have made in the current life time, 30-35, as the number of the years you have lived, Maybe 350-1000 because you just serious about life.

Dou you still remember the wishes you have made?

What is a wish? What is the difference between a wish and a goal?

Different Dictionaries have different descriptions for this one, I wonder why, some have descriptions I don’t agree with or maybe we not referring to the same thing.

The Synonyms they have are; a desire, longing, hope, yearning, urge, craving, hunger. They almost got it right but it is not what I’m referring to.

It is just not a true definition of a wish.

As kids we have heard of beautiful stories, of making a wish and wishes that came true. Isn’t just great being a kid. Because most of us at that stage we knew less of the bad stuff, life had a total different view.

We then learn about stuff like Gender, colour, class, good, bad, evil, and all that jazz and the suffering started, the one that exist when we have money or not, the one that exist when we succeed or not, and someone decided to give the suffering another name. We busy curing cancer while we have TB. We have a wrong turn situation.

We have heard of stories for example Aladdin and the genie in the bottle, Cinderella.

If you can notice this stories have all somethings in common, ASKING, I think that is the most important commonality in them,

asking the impossible,

asking for the benefit of the greater good

and of course my favourite part the magic, they all have magic.

The people who are asking believe in magic. That is the main rule “believe in magic” don’t ask how.

The is also something in common with the people who make the wishes,

they all don’t not have stories about why they asking or about why they shouldn’t ask. They don’t ask for a qualifying criterion for asking.

They don’t say should I be tall or short, should I have degree or not.

They know that, just by them existing, they qualify, that is good enough, they understand they don’t have to do anything or be anything more or less of who they are, they are enough, they are good enough, they can ask.

they actually understand that there are no criteria, everyone can jump in anytime as they wish.

Another common factor is that in all the stories

the asking party can never ever say, they had something to do with the wish coming true. They get that there is no way they could have done that all by themselves.

They get their position, believe, ask, and receive.

When they receive they also don’t say “oh no that is too much for me”, or “no but I don’t deserve that”, “I can’t have that, people like me don’t get such things”. In summary they receive without drama.

Believing is too easy that its actually complicates the whole thing to the highest degree of difficulty because believing is a choice that we make for ourselves but also others can make it for us easy. So when we believe something we have to be extra careful of who is doing the believing is it us or someone else. And ask ourselves that did we do our due diligence of checking the facts for ourselves before we believe.

For example

we believe coca cola is a soft drink and not a cleaning detergent, while actually it cleans better than what it does in the stomach. What happened, how did we get to believe that, someone every nice out there is doing the believe for us, for free as long as we go along and of course buy the product. it’s good for us isn’t it, we believe that also.

Another easy example If you believe that there is a black person and a white person, did you ever give yourself time to study about PIGMENTATION, maybe 1 hour. That is just basic but It might just end a lot of suffering for you. It might interest you, you can find out more, in the process letting go of some suffering. Check the facts before you believe.

I believe in magic, I believe that the universe is asking me, all of us to make a wish, an upgrade of a goal.

You can have your goals no one is going to take that away from you.

Goals keep us all sane.

Their good for our mental health.

Goals are good because we can perform and measure ourselves, we can get them done all by ourselves, so we can feel good, important and on top of the world, we can be achievers. That is great, if that doesn’t work the are other ways of getting that same feeling.

A wish is not a goal because

1, it has to be something that serves the greater good, not a me and my house case, keeping up with Jones, that’s achievable with goals

2, something you truly desire, it will help a lot if you have the question; “what is my purpose”, your wish is your purpose,

3, a wish cannot be SMART- specific, measurable, Achievable, Realistic, with Time. We do that for goals

A wish needs to be amazing, it needs to be magical. Simply it means that it should not be based on your abilities at all, for example what was your turnover last year, so how much percentages based on that can you grow this year, not a wish

Magic is a free gift from the universe that says “your wish is my command.”

I’m asking that we think of making a wish in this new year, knowing that it has nothing to do with us, no judgement at all of what we have achieved in the past, what we capable of, who we are, who do we know. It all about asking beyond us.

Asking knowing, we are also special, we can ask without a scan of who we are.

Can we do that?

Be careful what you wish for because you might just get it, guess what if you follow the rules you will get it.

Remember it’s got nothing to do with who you are. You are good enough. You are accepted.

ASK.

Your wish is my command.

Relationship with Money

Money is energy and we are energy. Money interact with us in an energy level, if we on the same vibrational level with the money we need, the money will automatically be attracted to us.

Money will find its way to us, so we should never worry about ‘how’ it will come. When we don’t have a good relationship with money, we struggle with not worrying about the “how”. For example, if you have a good relationship with your relatives and you have a party, you invite them, you never worry about them not showing up, but if there is tension you will definitely worry about them attending the parting.
If we have a good relationship with money, money will make its way to us by means of great ideas and amazing opportunities. The important part of this relationship is our receiving. We have to be open to receive. We have to know we have the right to receive. We are good enough to receive. Mostly this is where the problem lies, we sometimes think we need to do certain things to qualify or to be something else, for example with think we do not have enough education or we have too much education, the color of our skin might be too dark or too light. We do not have enough skills, or we do not know enough about something.

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When we in a relationship with another person but we are not open to receive, maybe love from them, they can’t really force us, deal breaker right there. We have to believe we are worthy of having money. How worthy we are of money we were taught, so we need to unlearn, and relearn that we are worthy for the simple reason that we are here breathing, as much as we do not have any problems breathing, we don’t count how much air we deserve, we need to learn the same about money, its the same thing.
How I started teaching about money was because lot of people I know wanted me to share with them about my business success, they wanted to know how I made it. Mostly when I shared that it wasn’t really about the business it was about the relationship I had developed with Money, they couldn’t understand. If they did understand, it just didn’t work for them because, it’s a process that needs to be practiced, it not a one-day job.

Now I coach my clients to have and keep money, I have workshops where I teach this called Money Breakfast, and most of all I have a Facebook group, where we have daily exercises, where we practice this better relationship with money, that is where all the existing things happen. #MoneyBreakfast
How would you know your relationship with money needs fixing?
You will know with the feeling you have when you think about money,

  • If you feel you don’t have enough money
  • If you feel you don’t want to think about money
  • If you feel pain that you don’t know how to get the money you want
  • If you feel the money you want is just way too much, you would rather just have what you can

A better, happier relationship with money changed my life. I do what I love, and I get paid by doing what I love, a dream come true. I know and believe we can all have this, if we will fix and nature the relationships we have with money.
I’m Busi Selesho CEO of Isipho Sempilo and an International accredited life coach, coaching wellness-living the best life in bliss. I teach my clients how to have a better relationship with money.

Our Ego in the Manifestation Process

Our Ego in the Manifestation Process

Our Ego can be our best tool and our worst enemy in manifesting the life we desire; it just depends on how are we using it.

Our Ego will do everything it can to get us to self-sabotage, our ego plays a big part in our limitations and Scarcity, all in the name of protecting us, our ego is all about getting its way and taking good care of us. So maybe the reason you don’t have the money you want is not all just your fault, you are self-sabotaging without knowing where is this really happening.

But we can use this powerful aspect of our lives (ego) to help us get what we want, and it can work just as hard to help us manifest what we desire.

Join us in this session where you will learn
-How to put brakes on the self-sabotage,
-How to get what you want without suffering
-Learn a few exercises to use to negotiate a good deal with your ego on a daily basis.

if you can attend the session you will added on the Money Group where there are daily money creating exercises. if you really can’t make the session inbox me for details on how to join the group.

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#MoneyBreakFast

#EasyDay

Busi Selesho

Challenge: Taking a day off from suffering on 16 June

On Youth Day, 16 June I will have an opportunity to talk to an audience of young people about the spirit of Youth Day. It will be a great opportunity for me to share with them my views on June 16, how I feel about it? what I think about it? and how I think June 16 as we know it can improve our lives going forward.

I’m an international accredited wellness coach, in my coaching career I work a lot also with young professionals (black and white), by the way I’m brown. My 4-year-old daughter the other day corrected me when I said I’m black. She said I don’t know colours, I’m brown, when I asked her more questions I find out that all people are brown, just that other people are too much brown and other people are little bit brown, so since then I’m brown, and i love being brown it has a nice energy to it. I was just a little worried because I never noticed this and I have been buying makeup for some time now, and all makeup is brown with different shades. How is it that I didn’t notice that?

I work with young professional (mostly less than 35 years), they are all shades of brown. One problematic area that comes up a lot is about “not being good enough”. They are a lot of factors to this but one is that “I’m not white”, or “I’m not black”, amazing I know. The blacks want to be white the white wants to be black and when I tell them I’m brown they look at me funny, but I get that a lot.

So the story of black and white is a big problem, they on twitter about it, they on Facebook about it, they insulting each other. It gets worse when they get to work, it’s still there, “this is happening to me because I’m white”, “this is happening to me because I’m black”, no one thinks they good enough.

The problem that I actually always detect is that no one wants to live in the now. We all know the history of south Africa, apartheid happened, June 16 happened, no one is saying anyone should forget or ignore, or not take responsibility.

But what is the point of existing in 2016 and still be living in 1976, some of us were not even born then. But we are daily living in that suffering of 1976, why? why? why?

The truth is, people that looked like us were screwed then, badly screwed, seriously screwed. The other truth is that people who looked like us screwed people.

The result is that the ones that were screwed are still seeing the effects, they feel disadvantaged, screwed, disabled, fearful, angry and hopeless as hell. The ones who were screwing they experiencing the effects, they are guilty, ashamed, fearful, sad, sometimes angry as hell. The problem is most of the people who are feeling this on both sides were not even there then, as I said I was not born yet. On both sides we all heard a story and it just depends who is telling it.

In 1976, they were brave people who took it upon themselves to do something about what was happening. They were so passionate; death was something they didn’t fear. They wanted to sort out this situation which was really problematic. They did well, we are all forever grateful for what they, all shades of us and that is the truth. I believe they did what they did out of love, they wanted us to be free of this problem. I know that they will really be happy if we can enjoy what they did for us and not live in 1976.

Hence I believe that best way to remember them and honour them this Youth Day will be for us, just for one day to leave the struggle and suffering of living in 1976 on 2016 and actually live one day in 2016. Doing that to say thank you in their remembrance. On the 17 June 2016 we can go back and let the struggle and suffering continue since we are so used to it. God bless all the coaches who have to continually bring people back from that place, you doing a great job.

So if you would like to take this challenge, here is how it is to live in 2016,

  1. We acknowledge that we were screwed, us or our family members or that people who looked like us were screwed.
  2. We acknowledge that, we or our family members or people who looked like us screwed other people.
  3. We understand that all this happened in the past, with our contribution or not.
  4. We appreciate that we are no longer in the 1976 problem, we don’t have to fear for ourselves, all of us.
  5. Be willing to start feeling gratefulness around this issue, which will help us feel better about ourselves, “good enough”
  6. To Remember that People have already suffered for us, for this, we do not have to go back and do it again over and over and over again. There is currently pressing issues, we can use the energy to look for solutions for those.
  7. Make a decision to learn what we need to learn to change our current lives, to honour the people who gave their lives. Our lives are in our hands and we are in 2016. #SufferingMustFall
  8. (This one is optional, do it if you can). Think about the fact that it’s not me, it’s not you, its people who looked like us. #ThruthBeTold, non-attachment to drama

 

This is all I’m asking, if a whole day is too long, even 10 min will do a lot of good for our consciousness. We are doing this for the greater good. We are all responsible and capable. We can let it go just for a day and see how we feel. It’s not forever just one day. #YouthChallenge

If you going to taking on this challenge let me know,

I Love You

#SufferingMustFall

#EasyDay

#YouthDay

#YouthChallenge

#ThruthBeTold

Jealousy, what is in it for me?

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I have learned something about the subject of “jealousy”. Jealousy is mostly looked upon as an evil act. When we feel it we try to dismiss it because we learned that it is a bad thing for us to entertain but it is real.

I had the privilege as everyone else to be jealous and recognise someone is jealous at me. It really did bother me so I thought I will find out why.

Firstly it is very human for all of us to have setbacks, to miss it, to fail, or to even think we are not doing well enough. The humanly easy way to deal with those thoughts and feelings is to find another human being who is also going through the same challenge or worse. We then start to feel that “oh I’m not alone” or “I’m actually better off”. That is why daily sun is doing so well in sales.

As an entrepreneur myself I have went through this a lot because entrepreneurship is known to be a lonely place for a simple reason. The chances of walking to the shops and meeting some who will understand what month-end does to you because you have employees with families to pay salaries to and the business is not doing well, are very small compared to having a baby with a high temperature conversation. I wish there was a daily sun of entrepreneurs. Business idea right there someone.

When we find someone with the same problem we start to think straight. You feel better. Maybe get some advice and you mostly make a plan. We all just need to know, we not the only ones.

Normally jealously as we know it occurs when we perceive someone to be doing better than us in a particular thing/aspect which we think we could have also achieved, we also capable of achieving. We can actually do better maybe. Someone who we think is on the same level with us, like age, gender, went to school together, similar to us in some way. The great thing is I can’t be jealous of Bill Gates or Warren Buffet they not on my league in this context.

Is jealousy a good or bad thing?

I think it is a great human copying mechanism. When we get jealous we are recognising that we need to up our game. We could have. We should have. Why didn’t we do that? Think of that? Are we ok? We can do it better. Is it possible, what are we learning, and what can we learn.

I have find that that there is a productive and efficient way (energy purposes) to use jealousy to serve me. Which is feeling it, all of it, recognise it, and accept it. Confess it if I can. Step 2 is to say how or what can I learn from this person.  If it’s about their dress size because they have so many kids and still look 16 years old and I don’t, I then ask myself a very important question, Is this important to me, to have a six pack, if it is, then can I found out how did they do it. I will just have to hope they don’t say “I have good genes” because that is heart breaking at some level. Luck at its best. Normal people who have succeeded they love to share all the time how they succeeded, they even offer help to someone who wants to achieve the same, I have learned.

If the person doesn’t want to share, do not get offended, know that there is something wrong. Like the car, the house, the clothes and the groceries all belongs to the bank and we actually don’t have a savings account, we have never heard of investments. We just got lucky enough someone gave us all this so we can work so hard for them, pay for each of them 5 times for the rest of our lives, we actually have no clue what happened. Maybe we tenderprenuers. You have no business learning about that. It might be better to sleep on a hungry stomach that have tenderprenuers problems. Walk away, you cannot be jealous of that.

If that particular thing is not important to me, then that is just a great opportunity for a gratitude excersize for the day. It’s ok to be grateful for trees, the sun, rain and your kids. But I have found out its much better to be greatful of people you know and don’t have any business being grateful of them. They also don’t even have to know. If you can let them know that will be even better but one step at a time. Gratefulness does a great trick to our minds, because our minds are so powerful yet they don’t know what is real and what is not. That is why we have to study about neutrons at school. So our great wonderful brain follows patterns.  Pattern detector. The more we say “yes” to something the more of it we see, then be, then have it. We all have experienced the buying a car experiment and all of a sudden there are so many cars like yours. You get pregnant and every other woman is pregnant.

So sometimes too simple things are difficult to implement. Every time you feel jealousy it’s a great opportunity to learn or say yes to something great. You start to see a lot of great things and eventually will start to experience your own great things.

Jealously can be such a great tool for self-development until you get over it because you are so busy with your own life that you don’t have time to be checking on other people’s business. It’s also called getting a life.

When you think someone is jealousy of you which mostly is not true.  But when it is true. Please do understand what they going through send them love and light.

Having an #EasyDay shouldn’t be so difficult. Get great projects in your life and jealously will be a thing of the past. It’s possible.

Busi Selesho

Wellness Coach

@busiSelesho